Jizzmail Applications Now Open
15 Aug, 2021
In an attempt to gain rank and power, jizzmail has recently opened up applications for jizzmail emails, along with revealing the long secretive jizzmail oath. Lets take a closer look at what you will need for a jizzmail email, and an exclusive interview with Bryce himself.
How to apply
The jizzmail application page lists very few actual requirements to apply for a jizzmail email, the only three being a blood oath and sacrifice, as well as swearing your alliegence to the full jizzmail oath. Lets take a look a this oath.
The Full Jizzmail Oath
1. In the time of need, you will come
When Sundar Pichai is laid weak and bare, his web of truths spread across the floor you will come in jizzmails greatest time of need to destroy the tyranny held aloft so mightily
2. Jizzmail emails are for STRICTLY business purposes
Please use jizzmail emails for ONLY business purposes, they are not to be used to for personal purposes or for any information one would deem sensitive
3. JIZZMAIL EMAILS ARE FOR STRICTLY BUSINESS PURPOSES
Please do not entrust me with the burden of any sensitive or important data on the jizzmail servers, this includes: DNA, Accounts, Dogecoin or Digibyte, Pokemon Card Collections, and the life giving chemical Oxygen. No gaurantees of data reliability, account longevity, or privacy are given
Overall this offering of requirements is a extremely competitive deal towards Yahoomail, Hotmail, and Verizon. We forsee many competitors failing to keep up with jizzmail's fast rate and extremely low prices.
Bryce
Q: Why did you choose to open up jizzmail applications?
A: I didn't.
Q: What was the process of opening up jizzmail applications like?
A: I saw the link and I made a concious decision not to click on it.
Q: What sort of critera are you looking for in jizzmail applicants?
A: Big
Q: Are there any GPA requirements?
A: At this point Bryce started to ring a dish loudly and sweetly
Q: Did you create jizzmail?
A: No.
Q: Who created jizzmail?
A: You did.
(I would like to note that jizzblog is not affiliated with jizzmail in any way shape or form)
Q: How many jizzmail users are you looking at targeting?
A: Next question.
Q: How many jizzmail users are you looking at?
A: Two, loud ringing noise
Q: Thank you for your time Bryce?
A: loud, short and sweet ring
Q: Oh the interviews over.
A: I don't know how to answer that.